You promise to be there in sickness and in health, to make his favorite blueberry pancakes every Sunday and to love him forever even though he never puts the toilet seat down.

Many couples are bucking traditional sentiments their parents uttered, and writing their own heart-centered pledges of love. Some are adding a little humor, too. Creating personalized vows means showing your reflective and romantic side. It's OK. Just take a deep breath and let the emotions flow - and the laughter, if you prefer.

Dig Down Deep

If you want unique and individualized, relax with one another and take out some paper and a pen -- and maybe some Kleenex. That person you are saying "I do" to needs to know your deepest, sweetest thoughts. Your guests also will enjoy hearing snapshots of your relationship. Your words will touch everyone there.

In Waterbury, Vt., Greg Trulson has helped hundreds of couples find the perfect words that make their ceremony ultra-personal. As an elected justice of the peace, he first shows couples a few samples of vows - traditional and personalized. He invites them to discuss their favorite phrases and words that relate to them.

"I ask them to tell me the things that are truly special about the other person and why they want to spend the rest of their life with them. When they speak out loud about their feelings, I tell them that they just said their vows."

Trulson advises couples to jot down special moments such as the first time they met or when they got engaged. Vows can include favorite traveling stories, hobbies, everyday happenings, cute habits or talents.

Talk about the characteristics of the other person that makes you laugh, smile or feel warm and safe. It could be something as simple as the great chili he makes or the sweet notes she leaves him in his briefcase.

For added help and to get a sense of different styles, the internet offers plenty of sites with samples of unique vows such as
www.myweddingvows.com and www.electpress.com.

Companies also sell do-it-yourself kits for as little as $17 including one at weddingtoolkit.com.

Easing the Nervous Quotient
One good exercise to get the thoughts flowing is by looking your partner in the eyes. Hold hands and begin exploring all those emotions inside. What is the one thing about that person that always amazes you? When did you know that he or she was the one for you? What memory do you hold dearest about this person?

Being too sappy or sentimental is perfectly fine on your wedding day. You don't have to write a novel. A few beautiful sentences to express how you feel is all you need.

Trulson sees a growing trend of family and friends being included in the vows, especially when children are part of the new marriage. Some couples speak about how their own parents' marriage influenced them.

Many couples become nervous thinking about saying the right words at the right time. He strongly suggests that they don't memorize the vows. The officiant or minister can hand over the type-written vows at the appropriate time so they can read them to each other.

Trulson judges his own job by the "tear factor" in the audience. "It just loses a lot of impact if I say their vows first and they repeat me."

Jenna and Nick Lage of Iowa had doubts about customizing their vows. They both shy away from being the center of attention.

"But it turned out great, and I got through it," she said. "I talked about our five years of dating and why he was the one for me. I had to have my tissue in my hand though."